Recent reports from major media, question the integrity of today's titans of industry, the czar's of capitalism, and the kaiser's of komedities, as being callous, greedy, over valued and over inflated figure heads of corporate America, inevitably causing more harm than good to the future of American business.
Well, we at Satyricom don't believe that to be true. In fact, we believe the salary of our Corporate Executive Officer, Dr. Ignatius M. Skinny , 5th generation of this family owned and run multinational corporation deserves every penny he earns from the company. A position that affords all of us who work below him comfortable jobs in a high profile company that is responsible for many of the finer products on the market today. Why, because we have figured that Dr. Ignatius M. Skinny is 364 x's better than the average employee.
How is this so? Satyricom International's Analytics Department has run Dr. Skinny's projected value through a series of complex formula's and state-of-the-art computer modeling scenarios to determine his very worth (salary, pension, benefits, and compensatory package, stock options, etc.) and come up with a formula that ranks his performance with that what is the most economically viable for Satyricom International. While his worth for Satyricom is valued at 364 x's that of our average employee, his time invested and leadership at the helm of Satyricom, is not measurable by mere dollar amounts. The company is as much a part of Dr. Skinny as it is the part of An International Trade Organization protected corporate entity, governed by a board of share holders and trustees. A protected, limited liability corporation, that is publicly traded in 4 national stock exchanges. How many "average" employees can stake a claim that kind of responsibility? How many, huh? We didn't think so.
Paul J. Pootertoot
Press Officer
Satyricom International (A Satyricom Global Concern)
U.S.A
Thursday, August 30, 2007
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