Friday, June 29, 2007

This Day in Satyricom History - June 29th 1983 - A Pandemic is Officially Over


Vaci-Nation's® First Block Buster in Pharmaceutical Field


1981 - Pandemic Sweeps the Nation!
After the gas crisis of the seventies, and an economic recession, the country was finally ready to look towards the possibilities of the future. But a unforeseen threat loomed on the horizon, we were at war with a new pandemic. These lyrics from a popular song by popular music duo, Buckner & Garcia reflect what ailed the nation:

I got a pocket full of quarters, and I'm headed to the arcade.

I don't have a lot of money, but I'm bringing ev'rything I made. I've got a callus on my finger, and my shoulder's hurting too. I'm gonna eat them all up, just as soon as they turn blue.

'Cause I've got Pac-Man
fever;
Pac-Man fever.
It's driving me crazy.
Driving me crazy.

I've got Pac-Man fever;
Pac-Man fever.
I'm going out of my
mind.
Going out of my
mind.

I've got Pac-Man
fever;
Pac-Man
fever.

Pac Man Fever, or Morbeo Vir Pacus had begun to spread across the nation. Widely believed to have been spread through unsanitary video game practices. Free sterilized joystick wipes failed to persuade the nations youth to practice responsible gaming. The results were devastating. Glassy eyed pale children, teens, and adults wandered the streets with slumped shoulders and callused fingers, searching for quarters. A crisis had arisen in which no one was safe. Infected individuals would search the coin trays of pay phones, vending machines, and coin operated washing machines in their pursuit of feeding their sickness, unknowingly spreading it to unsuspecting individuals. Public campaigns to educate were to little to late, everyone was susceptible. In times when the government fails to provide for its citizens, a country must look to the private sector.

Under the lead of Dr.
Ignatius M. Skinny, Vaci - Nation® (a subsidiary of Satyricom Global Concern®), worked tireless hours to develop a vaccine that could fight the multi-symptom effects of Morbeo Vir Pacus (with little to no side effects) that would tackle the patients prognosis. Fighting such virus is a problem since Morbeo Vir Pacus presents a range of symptoms such as stiff shoulders, callused finger(s), increased appetite for things colored blue, empty pockets, and finally insanity. Until this time vaccines were usually made to fight only one ailment at a time, a 5 -way treatment was needed.

History has shown us that some people may be ingrained with a knack for a certain type of thinking. They sometimes call it "thinking outside the box." It had long been a tradition to combine functions of two or more Satyricom®brand products with each other to create all-in-ones™. From Otto von Dünnmager's all-in-one Whaling Vessel/Rendering plant that ran on whale oil, to great-great-great-great grandson, Dr. Skinny's, innovations in home appliances
such as the X-erspinnner (Salad Spinner and exercise bike). There was one thing that Satyricom did well, it was making multi-functional items. So with some laboratory tinkering and a little all American know how, Vaci-Nation's® newest fight against Morbeo Vir Pacus was ready to be put to the test.


A file photo of youth infected with
Pac Man Fever

1983- The vaccine is made mandatory in public school systems around the nation and Morbeo Vir Pacus was declared eradicated June 29th, 1983. With Vaci-Nation's®high profile, efficiency, and huge profit margins as a result of the companies call to action, the company was soon looked upon as a leader in the Pharmaceutical Industry. Board members and employees were the ones who truly understood the auspicious rule of Dr.Ignatius M. Skinny, a tinkerer, scientist, and inventor of many of the quality products so beloved by Americans. With determination and ingenuity, Dr. Skinny was able to pilot the vessel known as Satyricom®International (A Satyricom Global Concern) into uncharted waters and find dry suitable land, land to build a new colony that would be the Vaci-Nation Pharmaceutical Empire.








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